Inane Query Letter of the Week #24

Now, as some of you know, I normally prefer to refrain from pointing out the grammatical and contextual foibles of the international entrants into our weekly Inane Query Letter contest. They obviously don’t realize, I reason, how offensive/ridiculous certain aspects of their pitch may sound to a politically-conscious liberal-minded fellow like myself. Probably, this lack of understanding is on account of the inadequate education they received in their substandard foreign schools, or possibly because too little attention was paid, when learning from their local wiseman or shaman or whatever, to the more subtle intricacies of the English language. Perhaps they are too busy building pipe bombs or running their Laundromat or selling oranges by the freeway on-ramp to run a grammar check. Who’s to say?

Suffice it to say that I will continue to turn a blind eye to the unfamiliar syntax of their pidgin English and be accepting of the most bizarre and incongruous storylines that the international community has to offer. Really, it’s the least I can do, especially considering that most of them have to live in shoddy mud huts with leaky thatched roofs, hunt and forage for their food and constantly worry about being ritualistically sacrificed to a pagan fertility goat god anyway.

So now, on with the show:

Logline: Hip Antichrist visits the ghetto!

Synopsis: Hip Antichrist (or) Harlem Antichrist

This hilarious comedy is about Damien, Lucifer’s offspring, who suddenly drops in Harlem from the sky like bird poop. His intension is to corrupt the ghetto and take it over for his father’s kingdom from the threat of spiritual growth.

Damien enlists the ridiculous services of three delinquents to find a spiritual man-Reverend Kinsley-and pin his buttocks with a serpent ornament to corrupt his being thus scarring spiritual revivals among black folks beyond repair.

Through out the movie, falsehoods of many religious, money hungry, sexually perverse and pretentious clergy are revealed. Are they not blindly following Damien?

This comedy will leave everyone laughing and thinking about the current state of spiritual affairs. The complete script is available upon request.

Sincerely,

NAME WITHHELD TO PROTECT THE STUPID