NMTE (Late) Morning Roundup

Reporting to you at the crack of noon, here's what's happenin' in the world today:

STEROIDS BLIND ITEM GUESSING GAME: Who K-an it be now? Edition REVEALED!

Major League Baseball officials received at least a dozen phone calls yesterday regarding a rumor MLB was about to announce that Roger Clemens and Johnny Damon had tested positive for steroids, with an announcement coming today. "Total BS," one official said. MLB and the players' union had released a joint press release last week, vehemently denying that more prominent players had tested positive in the aftermath of Rafael Palmeiro's failed test.
-- 8.18, from Gordon Edes' Red Sox notebook

See? I told you it was unsubstantiated!

The Royals’ March towards Ultimate Futility™ Update:
For the first time in a week, manager Buddy Bell (pictured at left contemplating the sacrifice of a vigrin Royals fan to ensure a win over th weekend) and the lowly KC Royals managed to go a full day without losing a Major League Baseball game…of course, Thursday was a travel day for the Royals, as they head to Oakland for a three game weekend set against the AL Wild Card leading A’s. Tonight the Royals again attempt to thwart encumbrance by the millstone of history that seemingly has been fitted about their collective necks, sending staff “ace” Jose Lima (of LA “Lima Time” fame) and his 6.44 ERA against the A’s young righthander Rich Harden. Tune in to NMTE for late updates on the Royals’ bid for a 19th straight loss as they continue their ignominious March towards Ultimate Futility™

Holy shit! Professional athletes smoke dope? Say it ain’t so, Randy! Say it ain’t so!

And finally, I couldn’t bring myself to post separately about the Sox jaw-dropping, cover-your-eyes awful performance against the Angels last night. I just couldn’t. From Wakey’s early struggles to the line drive off the bat of whodat rookie Casey Kotchman that knocked the Sox starter from the game, to Manny really being Manny on a miscue in left to Mike Myers ignominious entrance—yes, those of us on the West Coast had to suffer through a damn Austin Powers joke from the Angels broadcast booth when Myers came in. Mebbe Angels’ play-by-play man Steve Phisioc is the one who was cryogenically frozen in 1997 and thawed before last night’s game—and the subsequent three-run homer allowed to a righthanded batter, this game was over before it even began. What is it about these West Coast roadtrips that always seems to put these Sox in the tank? Is it really the “drastic change in temporal routine” that Soxaholix suggests? And what the eff is Linger still doing on the team? Granted, this kind of blowout situation is perfect for him while he’s still around, but if allowing 12 hits, 6 walks, and 12 earned runs in 4 and 2/3 innings pitched (that's a 21.21 ERA for those scoring at home) doesn’t get you launched into Mark Bellhorn territory, what will? And what exactly was the point of bringing in two lefties to face a predominantly righthanded (Vladdie, Molina, Juan Rivera) middle of the Angels lineup anyway when J-Gone had been so effective in long relief over the past week? Much better to throw our only decent lefty setup guy, Myers, to the wolves on the fourth game of a 10-game roadtrip than to use a rubber armed rookie like J-Gone in this sitch, huh Tito? Sweet merciful crap.

Record: 69-50
Streak: L2
Standing: 1st in the AL East, 4 games ahead of MFY
Next Game: Friday 8.19.05 @ 10:05pm ET @ Anaheim
BOS – Matt Clement (11-3, 4.53) vs. ANA – John Lackey (10-4, 3.63)