NMTE (Late) Morning Roundup

Reporting to you at the crack of noon, here's what's happenin' in the world today:

According to NESN’s Tom Caron (and, as quoted this morning by DirtDogs, NMTE fav Peter Gammons), Sox top draft pick, fireballing righty reliever Craig Hansen from St. Johns, could join the team as early as next week to fill in the gaping holes in the Sox struggling bullpen. Along with fellow rookies Jonathan “Don’t call me Jon” Papelbon and Manny Delcarmen, Hansen represents the bright future of the Sox pitching staff and, after an impressive series of outings in AA Portland, could serve as insurance for the beleaguered relievers should closer Keith Foulke not be ready to step into his previous role immediately off the DL. On first glance, it seems like throwing a rookie, and one that’s only been out of college for six months, into the lion’s den of closing games for a division leader would be absurd, and could seriously damage his confidence and jeopardize his future development. That being said, this bullpen of the Sox needs some serious help real fast, both in the setup (the inconsistent Chad Bradford and the atrocious Linger) and closer (the rotation-bound Schill) roles and Hansen’s live arm could be just what the doctor ordered.

The Royals’ March towards Ultimate Futility™ Update: As mentioned yesterday, the KC Royals extended their season-long losing streak to 18 games with an 11-5 loss to the likewise last place but not nearly as atrocious Seattle Mariners. This game, sadly, was never in doubt after Seattle’s Adrian Beltre smashed a grand slam to left center in the very first inning, putting the lowly Royals in a hole they would not climb out of. After an off-day today, the Royals travel to Oakland to face the AL Wild Card leading A’s for a three-game weekend series hoping to extend their historic streak even closer to the AL record 21 games lost by those 1988 Baltimore Oreos. Good luck, fellas!

He’s back! He’s back! NMTE’s favorite football guru/Brookings scholar/cheerbabe enthusiast Gregg Easterbrook is back on NFL.com with his weekly Tuesday Morning Quarterback column. If you have a spare hour or two, drop in on TMQ and revel in his pleasantly loquacious AFC preview edition as well as last week’s hilarious Off-season Lowlights edition, which manages to summarize the inane goings on in the NFL offseason in a tidy 8 printed pages. Soon you will find yourself completely hooked, unable to enjoy an NFL game without lamenting preposterous punts, concentrating on your team’s travails in the Maroon Zone and associating the amount of clothing the cheerleaders are wearing to your team’s chance of victory.

STEROIDS BLIND ITEM GUESSING GAME: Who K-an it be now? Edition Rumors have been floating around the sporting world that, in the wake of Raffy Palmiero’s positive steroid test, another even bigger name had tested positive, was going through the appeals process and would be announced shortly. Far be it from me to spread vicious rumors about professional athletes that have yet to be proved guilty, especially hard-throwing Texans that were childhood idols of mine before being released by shortsighted management teams who believed said fireballer to be in the “twilight” of his career, only to see him “Rocket” out of town and win another half-dozen Cy Youngs for two division rivals, including the MFYs and be on track for another this year…but that being said, a completely unreliable source with knowledge of the MFYs front office tells NMTE that said unnamed strikeout artist from the Houston area will be outed as a steroid user in the next few days. Who izzit, you say? Stay tuned for more unsubstantiated details from YOUR source for breaking steroid news…Now More than Ever.