NMTE (Late) Morning Roundup
Reporting to you at the crack of noon, here's what's happenin' in the world today:
The disparate world of football fanatics and video game geeks converged last night in an orgiastic outpouring of consumer spending: Madden 2006 hit the shelves across the country and around the world at midnight this morning. I have unconfirmed reports that lines stretched around the block at the EB Games (nee Electronics Boutique) at the Westside Pavilion and another unconfirmed report that none of the lines occupants had ever been on a date with a girl they didn’t either pay for or kidnap.
Anderson Cooper is spared four days of live team coverage in the outskirts of El Paso, digging through trash heaps and exploring river banks to find a two foot square of insulation, holding it aloft before the camera and screaming “I don’t report the news! I AM the news!!!”: Space Shuttle Discovery landed safely at Edwards AFB in Southern California this morning.
Hoping to fill the void left by the release of Alan Embree and John Halama, the Sox traded a minor leaguer to the Cubs for Mike Remlinger, successfully replenishing their team quota of washed-up southpaw set-up men.
From the “Nobody Cares But Me” Department: Virtual unknown British film director Anand Tucker (who helmed the production of Steve Martin's upcoming ode to angst "Shopgirl") has been chosen to direct “The Golden Compass” the first installment of Phillip Pullman’s popular fantasy trilogy “It’s Like Harry Potter, Except With a Girl”.
And simply because CNN.com considers this newsworthy: Runaway Bride Jennifer Wilbanks is fulfilling her debt to society by…chortle chortle…mowing lawns! Look at you now, Wilbanks! You, with your little orange vest and your inspirational baseball cap! Not captivating the nation’s attentions with stories of your untimely abduction and batshit crazy, deer in the headlights stare now, are ya? Not high-tailin’ it to New Mexico on your fiancée’s dime while the local police, family and friends spend in excess of forty grand lookin’ for you, are ya? Hey, you missed a spot. No, over there. Next to tree. No, the other tree. Now hurry up, I need you to polish up the cruiser.
The disparate world of football fanatics and video game geeks converged last night in an orgiastic outpouring of consumer spending: Madden 2006 hit the shelves across the country and around the world at midnight this morning. I have unconfirmed reports that lines stretched around the block at the EB Games (nee Electronics Boutique) at the Westside Pavilion and another unconfirmed report that none of the lines occupants had ever been on a date with a girl they didn’t either pay for or kidnap.Anderson Cooper is spared four days of live team coverage in the outskirts of El Paso, digging through trash heaps and exploring river banks to find a two foot square of insulation, holding it aloft before the camera and screaming “I don’t report the news! I AM the news!!!”: Space Shuttle Discovery landed safely at Edwards AFB in Southern California this morning.
Hoping to fill the void left by the release of Alan Embree and John Halama, the Sox traded a minor leaguer to the Cubs for Mike Remlinger, successfully replenishing their team quota of washed-up southpaw set-up men.
From the “Nobody Cares But Me” Department: Virtual unknown British film director Anand Tucker (who helmed the production of Steve Martin's upcoming ode to angst "Shopgirl") has been chosen to direct “The Golden Compass” the first installment of Phillip Pullman’s popular fantasy trilogy “It’s Like Harry Potter, Except With a Girl”.
And simply because CNN.com considers this newsworthy: Runaway Bride Jennifer Wilbanks is fulfilling her debt to society by…chortle chortle…mowing lawns! Look at you now, Wilbanks! You, with your little orange vest and your inspirational baseball cap! Not captivating the nation’s attentions with stories of your untimely abduction and batshit crazy, deer in the headlights stare now, are ya? Not high-tailin’ it to New Mexico on your fiancée’s dime while the local police, family and friends spend in excess of forty grand lookin’ for you, are ya? Hey, you missed a spot. No, over there. Next to tree. No, the other tree. Now hurry up, I need you to polish up the cruiser.
posted by bd @ 8/09/2005 11:24:00 AM
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