Inane Query Letter of the Week #16

As frequent Friday visitors to this space know, I prefer to keep the source of the Inane Query Letters anonymous. This week, however, I couldn’t help myself. I really hope you are all kind to Mr. Stevens and don’t all rush to contact him for copies of his novel all at once. Please enjoy the following, the first (and with any luck, last) “TRUE SCIENCE FICTION” piece ever to grace these pages.

I wrote the TRUE SCIENCE FICTION Novel;

"The Tower of Bratenahl"

Stephen D' Michaels was just released from a maximum-security federal prison. He paid his debt to society, serving his time for racketeering, organized crime & weaponry.

Stephan was looking forward to returning home, to his penthouse Tower One in Bratenahl, Ohio.

All he wanted was to live in comfort, harmony and peace with his many other wealthy neighbors.

Fate would have it otherwise, Stephen's mercenary fighting experience would be called in again, to save civilization.

As radiation hit the earth, his Tower and all its residents were transported back a million years, into the dinosaur age.

Bratenahl's Tower One residents now had no laws, no utilities, no cell phones, no police and only one chance, one glimmer of hope to survive.

And that hope was, Stephen D. Michaels!

Number of Pages; 202

By, Michael D. Stevens
1505 One Bratenahl Place
Bratenahl, Ohio 44108

Next to be published; "Fishez"

Am I the only one that simply cannot WAIT for “Fishez”? Let me take a wild stab at the plot for this one: is it the heroic misadventures of D. Stevens Michael, a world famous oceanographer from Bratenahl, Ohio? Hmmm? Lay it on me, Mikey! I’m ready!

In the meantime, I guess now is as good a time as any to tell you that “The Tower of Bratenahl” was not the first query I received from Mr. Stevens. As a special bonus, since you’ve all been so good all week, I’ve included his other query below. It is a cautionary tale about the dangers of underestimating our furry brethren. It’s a bit lengthy, yes, but worth the effort, methinks. Please note the inclusion of a character list AND chapter titles, which makes it oh-so much more tempting.

“Skinz"

Animals have been hunted and killed for thousands of years.

They were part of God's food chain and kept everyone alive.

For the last 100 years, furs have become charmingly fashionable and now, animals are skinned for just their furs.

Their bloody remains, their bodies, left to rot.

Now it's their turn, to repay mankind...

.....and they're pissed!!

Number of Pages 191

"SKINZ" Characters

Jack - Father rabbit, Easter - Mother rabbit, Spot - Baby
Kilher - Father wolf, Red - Mother wolf, Thrilher - Baby
Berry - Male beaver, Verry - Female beaver mate
Gay - Gay squirrel, Fay - Gay squirrel's lover
Bob - Trapper, Lucy - Trappers wife, Bobby - Son
Woody - Trapper Bob's neighbor
Leroy - Bob's black mailman
CircleJerk - Indian Chief Shaman
Bucky - Indian Chiefs grandson
Dr. Wong - Batelle scientist
Dr. Dentally - Batelle scientist
Major Tac - Batelle Director
Ricardo _ French Drug Dealer
Dominique - Recardo's gay brother
KoolAid - BO$$ Nightclub Owner
Tex Walker - Country bar owner
Bambi, Tiffany & Jasmine - Strippers
ASSORTED OTHERS

Chapters

1 The Forest

2 Trapper Bob

3 Circle Jerk

4 Battelle

5 Ricardo

6 Slicing

7 Dicing

8 Bucky Returns

9 Bucky Gets Lucky

10 Back To Battle

11 Ricardo's Chateau

12 First Blood

13 Dancing CircleJerk

14 Batelle Heats Up

15 Raped

16 Ricardo Freaks

17 Batelle Update

18 Heads

19 Heads off

20 BO$$

21 Batelle Blows Up

22 Scroggs & Scarfurr

Fur Appendix