Inane Query Letter of the Week #11

This week was one of the toughest choices I’ve ever had to make since the inception of IQLotW. While there was no standout along the lines of a Planet Shark or involving Vietcong Vampires, there were several more than worthy competitors for the title. And that is why, for the first time ever, I have selected TWO query letters that will vie for the title of Inane Query Letter of the Week. Here are your competitors:

#1: FIGHTING CHANCE

Genre: Science Fiction

Robotic vultures and mosquitoes, and other programs try to kill an estranged couple, after they have reconciled to save each other's lives from the enemy.

Dale and Lois parted ways over the selling of Dale's invention, synthetic vegetables and fruits to Stanley McCoy. Their opposing life's works and lack of compromise has made their lives desolate. They have a fighting chance for all their dreams to come true. All they have to do is keep the last of Earth's real vegetation from the enormous bank account of Stanley, also the owner of France, Germany and China's supplier of military Robotic Assassination and Spy-ware.

Best wishes,

NAME WITHELD TO PROTECT THE STUPID


Yes, robotic vultures. Of course.

Whew. Alright, take a breather…we’re moving on to number two:


#2: CHERI THUNDER

Genre: Romantic Comedy

When a male sportswriter slams a famous female wrestler, she challenges him to a grudge match. With Womankind depending on her to defend their gender, and Mankind counting on him, what'll they do when they meet in training and fall in love?

In an effort to spur newspaper sales, sportswriter Ernie Bartlett writes a scathing article about the abilities of female wrestling champion Cheri Thunder. Cheri responds by publicly challenging him to a match. Ernie dismisses the challenge, but Cheri embarrasses him at every turn until he finally says yes in front of 50,000 fans at Yankee Stadium.

In preparing for an epic battle of the sexes, Cheri crashes Ernie's training camp and is amused by his failure to grasp the finer points of the sport. Sparks fly, and before long, it's obvious they were made for each other. But how are they going to keep their fragile new love alive when half the people in the world are counting on her to wipe the floor with him, and the other half are screaming for him to send her home in tears?

May I send you a copy of Cheri Thunder?

Sincerely,

NAME WITHELD TO PROTECT THE STUPID

Short answer: No!

Long answer: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeell No!

OK, so this is where you come in, loyal reader. It’s up to you (Yes, YOU!) to decide which of these deserving entries has what it takes to take home the coveted crown of Inane Query Letter of the Week. Simply log your vote in the comments section, conveniently located at the bottom of this post, and whichever query letter gets the most support wins! Or, considering this is a contest to find the worst of the worst, loses!

Keep in mind, should this work out, I may be convinced to make this a running weekly competition. Or, if I get no responses whatsoever, it will finally prove that nobody pays attention to this besides me and Stu and I may do it anyway. So go ahead. Vote. See if I care.

Results (or lack thereof) will be posted on Monday!