The Cruel Praise of Professor Monkenstein

I say! Two days of no posting? Ben, my boy, have you gone mad?

Why no, Professor Monkenstein. I've just been a little overwhelmed lately.

Overwhelmed? Overwhelmed! You have an obligation to these people...

What people? I have like five hits a day! And half of those are from my girlfriend...

...these people that come back, day after day, to revel in your cunning observations on the peculiarities of modern life. Lord knows there is little consistency in this day and age. What discerning primates like myself need is a little security. Knowledge that there is a place we can turn, day in and day out, to get a fresh and unfettered take on the day's news.

All due respect, Professor, but the majority of this blog is made up of half-cocked Red Sox analysis, Inane Query Letters and homages to Tony Danza. I hardly think that missing a few days of posting will be too much of a disapp--

And that is where you are wrong, sir! Your words...your words are like gold to mine furry ears. Indeed, there is little I enjoy more than filling up my meerschaum with the finest Virginia Black, kicking back in my favorite wicker sitting chair and enjoying the wit and whimsy that flows forth from your blog on a daily basis. It is, without a doubt, the highlight of my otherwise dreary simian existence. Without it I…I…I fear what might come of me. I may have to resort to drastic measures, my dear boy. Measures that I assure you will be quite unpleasant for all involved.

Uhm…is…is that a threat?

Take it as you will, young Ben. Take it as you will.

Gulp. See y’all tomorrow.