Inane Query Letter of the Week #8
This week’s entry, I must admit, was another winner that I’d had picked from the moment I read the logline. As noted a few weeks back, I have a soft spot in my heart for comparative description, especially when it invokes a below average made-for-TV adaptation of a novel that is completely opposite in tone from the script being pitched. Please, enjoy:
LARD ASS
In the vein of the Stephen King movie Thinner, but as a comedy in reverse.
Cliff Keaton, a good-looking, arrogant, gym owner and "Fitness Guru" experiences his worst nightmare. After angering his supermodel girlfriend's Romanian psychic, she places a curse on him. Cliff will gain 5 pounds-a-day, every day, no matter what, until he learns to love fat people. This is a story of one man's difficult journey out of self-obsession, with many life lessons and laughs along the way.
Hello:
I'm an award-winning writer-director (the Bronze award from the Houston Film Festival) with a background in standup comedy. I've written seven screenplays. One (a drama) is currently being shopped.
I would like to submit "Lard Ass" for your consideration. I can be reached by replying to this email or at (818) -------.
Thank you,
NAME WITHHELD TO PROTECT THE STUPID
On a side note, I snagged a copy of the new Weezer album “Make Believe” this week and I’m having a hard time latching onto it. It has its moments (the humorous misery and unexpected harmonica riffs of “Freak Me Out” and the poppy build in “The Damage in Your Heart” stand out) but on the whole has a much more whiney (the pitying “Haunt You Every Day”) and juvenile (the Everclear-esque single “Beverly Hills” and the empty rocker “We Are All On Drugs”) feel to it than their more recent stuff. It just seems like a helluva regression for a band that I never really got into when they hit it big (with the Blue album) but who have grown on me over the years (especially the Green album, one of the tightest rock albums I’ve heard in a while). As I mentioned to my coworker Bryan yesterday, it just seems like there was another notch that the album could (and it feels like should) have worked up to but didn’t. That said, I can see myself getting more and more attached to it as I listen, but through 3 or 4 listens, I am sadly underwhelmed. Hopefully someone out there disagrees and can point out the error of my ways. Until then, I’m sticking “Island in the Sun” and “Simple Pages” in the shuffle just to keep myself happy.
LARD ASS
In the vein of the Stephen King movie Thinner, but as a comedy in reverse.
Cliff Keaton, a good-looking, arrogant, gym owner and "Fitness Guru" experiences his worst nightmare. After angering his supermodel girlfriend's Romanian psychic, she places a curse on him. Cliff will gain 5 pounds-a-day, every day, no matter what, until he learns to love fat people. This is a story of one man's difficult journey out of self-obsession, with many life lessons and laughs along the way.
Hello:
I'm an award-winning writer-director (the Bronze award from the Houston Film Festival) with a background in standup comedy. I've written seven screenplays. One (a drama) is currently being shopped.
I would like to submit "Lard Ass" for your consideration. I can be reached by replying to this email or at (818) -------.
Thank you,
NAME WITHHELD TO PROTECT THE STUPID
On a side note, I snagged a copy of the new Weezer album “Make Believe” this week and I’m having a hard time latching onto it. It has its moments (the humorous misery and unexpected harmonica riffs of “Freak Me Out” and the poppy build in “The Damage in Your Heart” stand out) but on the whole has a much more whiney (the pitying “Haunt You Every Day”) and juvenile (the Everclear-esque single “Beverly Hills” and the empty rocker “We Are All On Drugs”) feel to it than their more recent stuff. It just seems like a helluva regression for a band that I never really got into when they hit it big (with the Blue album) but who have grown on me over the years (especially the Green album, one of the tightest rock albums I’ve heard in a while). As I mentioned to my coworker Bryan yesterday, it just seems like there was another notch that the album could (and it feels like should) have worked up to but didn’t. That said, I can see myself getting more and more attached to it as I listen, but through 3 or 4 listens, I am sadly underwhelmed. Hopefully someone out there disagrees and can point out the error of my ways. Until then, I’m sticking “Island in the Sun” and “Simple Pages” in the shuffle just to keep myself happy.
posted by bd @ 5/13/2005 03:55:00 PM
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