Inane Query Letter of the Week #10
Oh how the time flies.
It’s hard to believe that it was 10 weeks ago that I first was inspired by the Query Letters I Love blog to start posting some of the best of the worst query letters sent to me. Those 10 weeks have brought us on a roller coaster ride of intrigue, suspense and unintentional comedy ratings that packed more of a punch than King Sharkor's chicken footed minions. But never, until today, have I been so torn about a featured submission.
Behold, the first ever Inane Query Letter of the Week that I would almost want to see made into a film. Almost.
Query- "A Quicker Blood"
Genre: War/ Horror
It is 1963 an elite military squad is sent into the Vietnam jungle in order to hunt down the Vietcong commander who supposedly attacked an American base. Once on the mission, the team realizes that it is not the Vietcong, but rather a race of vampires who are the aggressors and must stop them before they escalate tensions in the area, which will lead to war.
I would like to submit this screenplay for your consideration and be contacted as listed below.
Thank you
NAME WITHHELD TO PROTECT THE STUPID/GENIUS
Elite military squads! Vietcong Vampires! Brilliant!
Honestly, the only way that this query letter could possibly be any better is with a gratuitous comparative logline, something along the lines of:
“Apocalypse Now meets The Lost Boys”
or
“Casualties of War meets Predator…with vampires!”
Otherwise, this is, in my mind, absolute perfection in the realm of query letters, so much so that I have begun to doubt my ability to find another that could be its equal. How HOW could I possibly find a query as succinct, preposterous and inspired at this one…with vampires!? Alas, I fear that all future efforts shall be for naught.
But yet, for you, dear reader, I will persevere. I shall redouble my efforts to find and display the best and brightest letters of submission that cross my path. I shall click on my Junk folder until my knuckles calcify and squint to decipher unclear faxes until my eyes bleed to find you (yes YOU) the most inane query letters possible. It’s the least I can do.
It’s hard to believe that it was 10 weeks ago that I first was inspired by the Query Letters I Love blog to start posting some of the best of the worst query letters sent to me. Those 10 weeks have brought us on a roller coaster ride of intrigue, suspense and unintentional comedy ratings that packed more of a punch than King Sharkor's chicken footed minions. But never, until today, have I been so torn about a featured submission.
Behold, the first ever Inane Query Letter of the Week that I would almost want to see made into a film. Almost.
Query- "A Quicker Blood"
Genre: War/ Horror
It is 1963 an elite military squad is sent into the Vietnam jungle in order to hunt down the Vietcong commander who supposedly attacked an American base. Once on the mission, the team realizes that it is not the Vietcong, but rather a race of vampires who are the aggressors and must stop them before they escalate tensions in the area, which will lead to war.
I would like to submit this screenplay for your consideration and be contacted as listed below.
Thank you
NAME WITHHELD TO PROTECT THE STUPID/GENIUS
Elite military squads! Vietcong Vampires! Brilliant!
Honestly, the only way that this query letter could possibly be any better is with a gratuitous comparative logline, something along the lines of:
“Apocalypse Now meets The Lost Boys”
or
“Casualties of War meets Predator…with vampires!”
Otherwise, this is, in my mind, absolute perfection in the realm of query letters, so much so that I have begun to doubt my ability to find another that could be its equal. How HOW could I possibly find a query as succinct, preposterous and inspired at this one…with vampires!? Alas, I fear that all future efforts shall be for naught.
But yet, for you, dear reader, I will persevere. I shall redouble my efforts to find and display the best and brightest letters of submission that cross my path. I shall click on my Junk folder until my knuckles calcify and squint to decipher unclear faxes until my eyes bleed to find you (yes YOU) the most inane query letters possible. It’s the least I can do.
posted by bd @ 5/27/2005 01:23:00 PM
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