Put me in coach...

Holy crap! Of course, I realize that the Major League Baseball season has already begun. One (or two) game(s) down, a hundred and sixty some-odd left to go. Man, this one really snuck up on me. It’s like one minute I’m crossing teams off my NCAA bracket and the next the Sox are getting shelled by the Yanks at the Stadium and it’s just like old times.

Well of course, I now realize that the season is underway and I’ve yet to grace these pages with my picks for the season! To keep things interesting, I’ll do the National League today and the American League tomorrow, and each team prognostication will come with a snarky comment about their chances this year.

Well, so, without further ado…

“Pre”-Season Baseball Picks (2005 Edition)

NATIONAL LEAGUE

EAST
1. Florida Marlins – Most improved team in the off-season. Delgado will be huge. Young pitchers (Beckett, Willis, Burnett) gotta come back and live up to their sizable hype.
2. Atlanta Braves – Smoltz is a lotta people’s preseason Cy Young favorite. I wouldn’t go THAT far, but he’ll be good. But you gotta wonder about a playoff-bound team starting Raul Mondesi in rightfield.
3. New York Mets – Picked up the two most overrated (and overpaid) free agents of the summer in Pedro Martinez and Carlos Beltran and still won’t sniff the playoffs after August 1st.
4. Washington Nationals – It’s amazing what playing in front of a home crowd 81 times a year can do for a young team.
5. Philadelphia Phillies – OK, you finally got rid of Larry Bowa, Philly fans. Time to take a look at that pitching staff.

CENTRAL
1. St. Louis Cardinals – Loss of Renteria to the Sox will be made up for by David Eckstein’s energy and a full season from Larry Walker.
2. Houston Astros – Won’t miss Beltran & Kent’s bats if Andy Pettitte can come back strong and Brad Lidge pitches like he did in the playoffs.
3. Chicago Cubs – I’m beginning to think that Kerry Wood and Mark Prior will never live up to the hype. Add in the Curse of Nomah and these guys are screwed, dude.
4. Cincinnati Reds – A lotta folks are picking Adam Dunn to hit fifty dingers this year and prove that there is power without ‘roids. I say, it’s the other two outfielders (Ken Griffey Jr. and Austin Kearns) that are gonna make or break this team.
5. Milwaukee Brewers – Dreams are dashed in Boston, New York, Houston and Atlanta as Ben Sheets re-ups with the Brewers in the coming weeks. But when your leadoff guy has an OBP in the low three bills, you’re in trouble. Bonus prediction: Sheets will start the All-Star game for the NL.
6. Pittsburgh Pirates – Go ahead. Name a position player on the Pirates. I dare you. No, Bobby Bonilla doesn’t count.

WEST
1. Los Angeles Dodgers – How they managed to unload Shawn Green to the D’Backs and Hideo Nomo to the D-Rays is beyond me. Even without Lima-time, these guys’ll be good, if only because…
2. San Francisco Giants – Barry’s heart isn’t in it, and without him the Giants outfield looks like this: utility man Pedro Feliz, former Expo Marquis Grissom, and 50-year old Moises Alou. Think the Dodger Blues are scared? Me neither.
3. San Diego Padres – If these young pitchers (Jake Peavy, Brian Lawrence, Adam Eaton) can get it together at the same time, this weak division is in trouble. They will be in this race til the end.
4. Arizona Diamondbacks – Will be the most improved team (record-wise) this year with the help of a rejuvenated Troy Glaus—and still won’t finish over .500.
5. Colorado Rockies – The Rockies depth chart looks like a roster from one of those knock-off Nintendo games from the 80’s. I mean, are ANY of these guys real major league players? Will Todd Helton ever ask off this sinking ship? And will Helton get voted into the Hall of Fame if he spends his entire career smacking hanging curves into the thin air of Coors? Wait…wait…does that say that BK Kim is slotted in as their closer? I LOVE BASEBALL!!!

to be continued…