Everyone into the pool! Final Four Picks edition
As promised, I'm back with the breakdown of my Final Four for this year's NCAA Basketball tournament. Before we begin, I'd like to say how excited I am about my chances this year. Ok, fine, I say this every year...but this year is different. Normally, once the final gun sounds to end the Super Bowl and the NFL season with it, I turn my attention whole-heartedly to the NCAA, which, come February, is firmly entrenched in the final 2-3 weeks of the conference schedule and soon followed by the always exciting conference championship week. This year however, a confluence of events (skiing, the World Champion Boston Red Sox spring training, an early Oscar date, a renewed interest in various Op-Ed pages, H threatening to cut my balls off and feed them to me if I watch any more sports) has kept me from focusing on the lead up to the Tourney.
Why then, you ask, am I so excited about my chances? Because every year my focus leads me to hone in on several sleepers, favorites and bracket busters that I become convinced are can’t-miss choices to advance to the Final Four. And every year, I fail to win my office pool--though, it should be mentioned, I have predicted two out of the last three champs (Maryland in ’02 and UConn last year) despite losing 3 of my 4 Final Four teams before the clock strikes midnight on Sweet 16 Sunday.
But this year, I have no CLUE as to who should beat whom, who the sleepers and busters and favs are, nevermind who all these damn players are (have YOU ever heard of Chevy Troutman? Didn’t think so). So I’ve been forced to rely on my minimal knowledge gleaned over the past two days and my overwhelming prejudice towards teams I grew up liking. Hence, I’ve bet big on the Big East, given the Pac-10 a kick to the groin and picked the Dukies to hit it big. Will this relative ignorance be my salvation? Or my undoing? Will my old school picks make me look like a retro-genius or a genuine rube? And will H ever let me watch basketball again? Time will tell.
That said, I leave you with my breakdown of who will advance from the Final Four picks I listed earlier, as previously revealed in an e-mail to Morgs and Rizzo. To wit:
“Duke beats UConn because a Blue Devil has a pitchfork, and could easily slay a Huskie. Louisville over Illinois because, though technically a Fighting Illini could dispose of a mere Cardinal, it is a little known fact that the Cardinal is a spiritual bird among the Illini people, meaning that the engage in battle would be, in essence, killing the golden calf. In the finals, the Devils continue their weapon-wielding rampage unencumbered, thanks to their demonic nature, by deified aviaries, and spears Louisville through the heart. Duke is your winner.”
Happy Bracketing, suckahs!
Why then, you ask, am I so excited about my chances? Because every year my focus leads me to hone in on several sleepers, favorites and bracket busters that I become convinced are can’t-miss choices to advance to the Final Four. And every year, I fail to win my office pool--though, it should be mentioned, I have predicted two out of the last three champs (Maryland in ’02 and UConn last year) despite losing 3 of my 4 Final Four teams before the clock strikes midnight on Sweet 16 Sunday.
But this year, I have no CLUE as to who should beat whom, who the sleepers and busters and favs are, nevermind who all these damn players are (have YOU ever heard of Chevy Troutman? Didn’t think so). So I’ve been forced to rely on my minimal knowledge gleaned over the past two days and my overwhelming prejudice towards teams I grew up liking. Hence, I’ve bet big on the Big East, given the Pac-10 a kick to the groin and picked the Dukies to hit it big. Will this relative ignorance be my salvation? Or my undoing? Will my old school picks make me look like a retro-genius or a genuine rube? And will H ever let me watch basketball again? Time will tell.
That said, I leave you with my breakdown of who will advance from the Final Four picks I listed earlier, as previously revealed in an e-mail to Morgs and Rizzo. To wit:
“Duke beats UConn because a Blue Devil has a pitchfork, and could easily slay a Huskie. Louisville over Illinois because, though technically a Fighting Illini could dispose of a mere Cardinal, it is a little known fact that the Cardinal is a spiritual bird among the Illini people, meaning that the engage in battle would be, in essence, killing the golden calf. In the finals, the Devils continue their weapon-wielding rampage unencumbered, thanks to their demonic nature, by deified aviaries, and spears Louisville through the heart. Duke is your winner.”
Happy Bracketing, suckahs!
posted by bd @ 3/17/2005 03:33:00 PM
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