The Best Damn Super Bowl Preview Blog Ever
Hello and welcome back. We’re coming to you live from scenic Jacksonville, Florida, site of this year’s Super Bowl matchup between the New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles. I’m here with the rest of the NMTE crew, and boy do we have a great couple of days of buildup to the big game for you.
I’d like to start the show today with a word about our host city. There’s been a lotta criticism of the fair city of Jacksonville by the national press over the past week, some of it true and some of it obviously meant only to stir up trouble with the locals. Well I’m here to tell you one thing: I don’t give a fuck.
What is with every Tony, Bill and Eric with a journalism degree thinking they can get away with two weeks of columns “From the Super Bowl” that deal exclusively with traffic problems, hotel accommodations and local of the nearest Starbucks? No offense fellas. I love your stuff or else I wouldn’t have read it all week and had so much to say on the topic, but please remember this:
99% of us are not at the Super Bowl this year, will NEVER get the opportunity to go to a Super Bowl, and really want to hear about what the players and coaches are up to in the lead up to the game.
We do NOT want to hear about the best steak sandwich in Jacksonville or about the shitty weather or how hard it is to get a cab back to your hotel after boozing on the company tab at TGIFridays.
Talk about football ferchrissakes!
Tell me what Bill Belichick is saying (or not saying) about the Eagles’ Pro-Bowl secondary. Tell me what Andy Reid is saying (or not saying) about the Pats’ supremely underrated offensive line. Tell me what Tom Brady is saying about his dead grandma or how awkward it was running into a completely trashed Tara Reid when he and Bridget were leaving the Madden Party.
DON’T tell me about what Stevie the cab driver said about P-Diddy’s party, what Mike the barista said about Peter King’s caffeine intake or who Gabrielle the concierge thinks will be this year’s Eugene Robinson ($20 bucks on Freddie Mitchell…who’s with me?)
The point is this: you guys are wasting your time and our by focusing on the particulars of your trips to the big game. Mebbe there really isn’t anything football related going on this week. Tell me that. Mebbe you guys are so jaded from seeing all that there is to see in your multiple trips to the game in the past few years (you know who you are) that you can’t appreciate the forest for the trees. Mebbe Jax isn’t New Orleans or Miami or even Houston. If that’s the case, just stop complaining that there isn’t anything to say about the city. Say something about the game! Remember the game?
Alright, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, I’d like to tackle three very important topics coming into Sunday’s big game. They are:
1. I hear it’s damn near impossible to get a cab back to your hotel if you try to cross the river to the NFL Experience. Seriously. Don’t even try it.
2. Pitchers and catchers report in less than two weeks.
3. In a little over fifty hours from now, either the New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles will be the reigning champions of the known football universe.
This game will be, in my estimation, a lot closer than the suddenly Belichick-mad national media is suggesting. Terrell Owens will play. Richard Seymour will play. Both will be on the field for around 50% of their team’s snaps on offense or defense respectively. Neither will have as big an impact as they would under perfect conditions. Both will have an impact. Neither will decide the outcome of this game.
Much has been made throughout the week (when not critiquing the relative merits of Chik-Fillet vs. Popeyes) about every aspect of each team. Donovan McNabb vs. Tom Brady. The Pats’ patchwork secondary vs. the Iggles underwhelming receivers. The Eagles’ dominating defense and the Patriots’ dominating defense and so on and so on. I’ve seen so many “keys to the game” that I’m getting ready to start my own locksmith business.
Will this stop me from throwing in my two cents?
Hardly.
The real keys to this game, as far as I can tell, will not be any of the premiere players or squads mentioned above. McNabb and Brady are both amazing quarterbacks, both capable of carrying a team on their shoulders and winning (or losing) the game themselves. The defenses are so comparable, if not in personal and style then at least in results, it’s hard to differentiate which will be more successful. No, the two factors that will determine the outcome of the Super Bowl are both relatively overlooked by the common observer, whether deserved or not.
The first: the running game. Brian “Don’t call me Michael” Westbrook and Corey “Don’t call me Matt” Dillon are both excellent runningbacks. Both were major factors in bringing their teams to the playoffs and have carried a lion’s share of the load once there. The two couldn’t be any more different in their styles: Dillon is a classic between-the-tackles banger with an engine that never stops; Westbrook is a scat-back by trade who has taken on an increased role this season after the pre-season injury to Correll Buckhalter and has become a force in the running and passing game for the T.O-less Iggles. The Patriots have the skills on the edges to slow down the speedy Westbrook, but I don’t know that the Eagles have the bulk or stamina up front to deal with 25 carries by Dillon (plus another 5+ by Kevin Faulk).
EDGE: PATS
The second: the cheerleaders. All due respect to the lovely and talented Patriettes of New England, the Eagles’ cheerleaders, thanks to the unmitigated success of their latest lingerie calendar, have surpassed the squads of the Dolphins and Cowboys, the normal stalwarts atop the list, to become arguably the hottest cheerleaders in the league. You’ve got the links. You be the judge.
EDGE: EAGLES
The tiebreaker: television commercials. In the TV spots that have run most frequently during the playoffs, here are the scenarios set up for each team (you’ve all seen them, and I ain’t one for giving free advertising, so you’ll have to figure out the products yourself):
The Patriots players psyching themselves up for a big game. They jump and scream and yell and hit each other. “Not in my house” says Tedy Bruschi. “Not today,” follows Corey Dillon “Not tomorrow. Not ever.” The tone is gritty and the camera reflects that in dark, muted colors and sharp quick cuts to accentuate the all-business demeanor of the Pats.
The Eagles are sitting around the locker room with Donovan McNabb’s mom eating soup.
EDGE: PATS
Bonus Final Score Prediction:
Patriots – 38
Eagles – 17
Let the dynasty debate officially…begin.
I’d like to start the show today with a word about our host city. There’s been a lotta criticism of the fair city of Jacksonville by the national press over the past week, some of it true and some of it obviously meant only to stir up trouble with the locals. Well I’m here to tell you one thing: I don’t give a fuck.
What is with every Tony, Bill and Eric with a journalism degree thinking they can get away with two weeks of columns “From the Super Bowl” that deal exclusively with traffic problems, hotel accommodations and local of the nearest Starbucks? No offense fellas. I love your stuff or else I wouldn’t have read it all week and had so much to say on the topic, but please remember this:
99% of us are not at the Super Bowl this year, will NEVER get the opportunity to go to a Super Bowl, and really want to hear about what the players and coaches are up to in the lead up to the game.
We do NOT want to hear about the best steak sandwich in Jacksonville or about the shitty weather or how hard it is to get a cab back to your hotel after boozing on the company tab at TGIFridays.
Talk about football ferchrissakes!
Tell me what Bill Belichick is saying (or not saying) about the Eagles’ Pro-Bowl secondary. Tell me what Andy Reid is saying (or not saying) about the Pats’ supremely underrated offensive line. Tell me what Tom Brady is saying about his dead grandma or how awkward it was running into a completely trashed Tara Reid when he and Bridget were leaving the Madden Party.
DON’T tell me about what Stevie the cab driver said about P-Diddy’s party, what Mike the barista said about Peter King’s caffeine intake or who Gabrielle the concierge thinks will be this year’s Eugene Robinson ($20 bucks on Freddie Mitchell…who’s with me?)
The point is this: you guys are wasting your time and our by focusing on the particulars of your trips to the big game. Mebbe there really isn’t anything football related going on this week. Tell me that. Mebbe you guys are so jaded from seeing all that there is to see in your multiple trips to the game in the past few years (you know who you are) that you can’t appreciate the forest for the trees. Mebbe Jax isn’t New Orleans or Miami or even Houston. If that’s the case, just stop complaining that there isn’t anything to say about the city. Say something about the game! Remember the game?
Alright, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, I’d like to tackle three very important topics coming into Sunday’s big game. They are:
1. I hear it’s damn near impossible to get a cab back to your hotel if you try to cross the river to the NFL Experience. Seriously. Don’t even try it.
2. Pitchers and catchers report in less than two weeks.
3. In a little over fifty hours from now, either the New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles will be the reigning champions of the known football universe.
This game will be, in my estimation, a lot closer than the suddenly Belichick-mad national media is suggesting. Terrell Owens will play. Richard Seymour will play. Both will be on the field for around 50% of their team’s snaps on offense or defense respectively. Neither will have as big an impact as they would under perfect conditions. Both will have an impact. Neither will decide the outcome of this game.
Much has been made throughout the week (when not critiquing the relative merits of Chik-Fillet vs. Popeyes) about every aspect of each team. Donovan McNabb vs. Tom Brady. The Pats’ patchwork secondary vs. the Iggles underwhelming receivers. The Eagles’ dominating defense and the Patriots’ dominating defense and so on and so on. I’ve seen so many “keys to the game” that I’m getting ready to start my own locksmith business.
Will this stop me from throwing in my two cents?
Hardly.
The real keys to this game, as far as I can tell, will not be any of the premiere players or squads mentioned above. McNabb and Brady are both amazing quarterbacks, both capable of carrying a team on their shoulders and winning (or losing) the game themselves. The defenses are so comparable, if not in personal and style then at least in results, it’s hard to differentiate which will be more successful. No, the two factors that will determine the outcome of the Super Bowl are both relatively overlooked by the common observer, whether deserved or not.
The first: the running game. Brian “Don’t call me Michael” Westbrook and Corey “Don’t call me Matt” Dillon are both excellent runningbacks. Both were major factors in bringing their teams to the playoffs and have carried a lion’s share of the load once there. The two couldn’t be any more different in their styles: Dillon is a classic between-the-tackles banger with an engine that never stops; Westbrook is a scat-back by trade who has taken on an increased role this season after the pre-season injury to Correll Buckhalter and has become a force in the running and passing game for the T.O-less Iggles. The Patriots have the skills on the edges to slow down the speedy Westbrook, but I don’t know that the Eagles have the bulk or stamina up front to deal with 25 carries by Dillon (plus another 5+ by Kevin Faulk).
EDGE: PATS
The second: the cheerleaders. All due respect to the lovely and talented Patriettes of New England, the Eagles’ cheerleaders, thanks to the unmitigated success of their latest lingerie calendar, have surpassed the squads of the Dolphins and Cowboys, the normal stalwarts atop the list, to become arguably the hottest cheerleaders in the league. You’ve got the links. You be the judge.
EDGE: EAGLES
The tiebreaker: television commercials. In the TV spots that have run most frequently during the playoffs, here are the scenarios set up for each team (you’ve all seen them, and I ain’t one for giving free advertising, so you’ll have to figure out the products yourself):
The Patriots players psyching themselves up for a big game. They jump and scream and yell and hit each other. “Not in my house” says Tedy Bruschi. “Not today,” follows Corey Dillon “Not tomorrow. Not ever.” The tone is gritty and the camera reflects that in dark, muted colors and sharp quick cuts to accentuate the all-business demeanor of the Pats.
The Eagles are sitting around the locker room with Donovan McNabb’s mom eating soup.
EDGE: PATS
Bonus Final Score Prediction:
Patriots – 38
Eagles – 17
Let the dynasty debate officially…begin.
posted by bd @ 2/04/2005 04:35:00 PM
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