The Juice is Loose
I know. Listen. I know. It’s hard to believe. He seems so strong, so complete. A natural athlete at the peak of his abilities playing for the grandest team in baseball history.
When I first heard that Jason Giambi’s testimony in the BALCO investigation had been released and that Mr. G had ratted out BALCO employee Greg Anderson and admitted that he had been supplied with and repeatedly used testosterone and other steroids, my response was: “uhhhhhhhhh…DUH!” His unexpected rise to the top of his profession, his monstrous build, his rash of unexplainable injuries. In fact, back in June I pleaded for Giambi to go back on the ‘roids, for the sake of his career. Did he listen? No. And did he play in the post season for the MFY? No. And did the MFY win the World Series? Snicker snicker.
Then I realized: this admission, in court, in what has become (ok, a year later, but still) public record for all the world to see…this is a cry for help. Jason Giambi has admitted his faults to you, the American people. He has put himself up for judgment and now awaits the balancing of the scales. He has seen what the HGH and “the clear” and “the cream” have done to his health and that of his poor brother Jeremy (who spent this past season, and I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried, playing for the Las Vegas 51s of the Pacific Coast League). Why else would he have put himself up on a cross like this, becoming the first active player to admit to ‘roid use and face the consequences of it from the league and his team? Why would he put his fellow players (including reigning NL MVP Barry Bonds and his own teammate Gary Sheffield) on the spot? Why would he admit to taking a female fertility drug that increases the effectiveness of male hormone supplements while also increasing risk of pituitary cancer. We hear your cries, Jason! And we’re here for you!
And so I ask you, dear reader, join me in celebrating today, December 2nd, 2004 as the first annual steroid/pituitary cancer awareness day. As far as I can tell, no other cause or charity or disease awareness group has taken up this date on the calendar (lucky this shit didn’t come out yesterday or the World AIDS Day folks would’ve had me to deal with). I’ve used my office’s Photoshop software to make some really swanky posters for the rally tonight. I couldn’t find an open venue on such short notice, so I’m gonna have to hold it at my apartment. On the porch, prolly, since I’m gonna wanna smoke, in order to enhance my awareness, and H won’t let me smoke inside. I even cut and tied off (excuse the expression) about eight hundred teal ribbons (pickins are slim for ribbon colors these days). I hope I won’t need ‘em all, but honestly, the more the merrier.
So let’s get out there and support Mr. Giambi on his long road to recovery. And on the long drive to Vegas to see his bro. And, God willing, back into the MFY line-up, where his .208 average and 12 dingers in 80 games really belong.
When I first heard that Jason Giambi’s testimony in the BALCO investigation had been released and that Mr. G had ratted out BALCO employee Greg Anderson and admitted that he had been supplied with and repeatedly used testosterone and other steroids, my response was: “uhhhhhhhhh…DUH!” His unexpected rise to the top of his profession, his monstrous build, his rash of unexplainable injuries. In fact, back in June I pleaded for Giambi to go back on the ‘roids, for the sake of his career. Did he listen? No. And did he play in the post season for the MFY? No. And did the MFY win the World Series? Snicker snicker.
Then I realized: this admission, in court, in what has become (ok, a year later, but still) public record for all the world to see…this is a cry for help. Jason Giambi has admitted his faults to you, the American people. He has put himself up for judgment and now awaits the balancing of the scales. He has seen what the HGH and “the clear” and “the cream” have done to his health and that of his poor brother Jeremy (who spent this past season, and I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried, playing for the Las Vegas 51s of the Pacific Coast League). Why else would he have put himself up on a cross like this, becoming the first active player to admit to ‘roid use and face the consequences of it from the league and his team? Why would he put his fellow players (including reigning NL MVP Barry Bonds and his own teammate Gary Sheffield) on the spot? Why would he admit to taking a female fertility drug that increases the effectiveness of male hormone supplements while also increasing risk of pituitary cancer. We hear your cries, Jason! And we’re here for you!
And so I ask you, dear reader, join me in celebrating today, December 2nd, 2004 as the first annual steroid/pituitary cancer awareness day. As far as I can tell, no other cause or charity or disease awareness group has taken up this date on the calendar (lucky this shit didn’t come out yesterday or the World AIDS Day folks would’ve had me to deal with). I’ve used my office’s Photoshop software to make some really swanky posters for the rally tonight. I couldn’t find an open venue on such short notice, so I’m gonna have to hold it at my apartment. On the porch, prolly, since I’m gonna wanna smoke, in order to enhance my awareness, and H won’t let me smoke inside. I even cut and tied off (excuse the expression) about eight hundred teal ribbons (pickins are slim for ribbon colors these days). I hope I won’t need ‘em all, but honestly, the more the merrier.
So let’s get out there and support Mr. Giambi on his long road to recovery. And on the long drive to Vegas to see his bro. And, God willing, back into the MFY line-up, where his .208 average and 12 dingers in 80 games really belong.
posted by bd @ 12/02/2004 06:41:00 PM
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