So if you're reading this, and you haven't received the evite to H's last day/my birthday party on Friday at Crazy Girls, consider this an invitation. The five people that actually read this and are within 500 miles of here are all very important to me/us and I/we would love to have you at my/our celebration.

How the fuck did i get second billing on this, by the way? On my birthday? Get my agent on the phone...

And speaking of birthdays, Dad, if you’re reading this, I hope you had a great one!